Tuesday, June 23, 2009

An enigma.

"Wow this is awkward... What now?"


He is in love with someone else. I can not and will not let myself comprehend it. If I do, my thoughts and loneliness will consume me. The rational-heartless part of me is, "fine", and the nonsensical-clothes ripping part is screaming at the top of my lungs, "Why can't it be me?!" I feel pathetic and invisible, while we make conversation. {Make being the key word.} Sometimes, I can see it almost touch it, and then he casually blows it away. I have sunk to a new low of low. Why can't our minds and hearts forget when they are rejected? I do envy the woman that can master the art of apathy. I want to be angry at him, but I can't. He did not do anything to deserve wrath or spite. That would be a "typical" guy move; and yet, he is not a "typical" guy. He is the 'writer'.

7 comments:

Elizabeth Marie said...

Oh no...not the writer. It's always him. Or the musician.

down and out chic said...

you know they say the opposite of love isn't hatred but apathy.
"mastering the art of apathy" would mean there was a complete void where the love was and that simply isn't possible. i dated a writer once and that will not happen again, yikes!

Charis said...

Ugh that definitely qualifies as a pinprick! Maybe closer to a dagger than a pin...
I understand where you're coming from, stupid flawed and unfair love logic can get you every time...
Have faith though! Maybe make "he wants to be with ME and ONLY me" a criterion for giving someone your time and affections? (it's a process, of course)

a H.I.T. said...

If he is the writer, he will ultimately be the heartbreaker. Whether you are the girl he picked or the one he set aside.

Charis said...

....so your post on my blog just made me laugh out loud at work, convulsively lean to the side while doing so (nearly falling out of my chair) and sound/look like a schizophrenic to some person passing by my open door. Thanks, thanks for that.

Kristin said...

You will totally forget the rejection when you find your forever love. Until then, remember his faults and why he never could have made you happy. Ah ha

Michael said...

Why do relationships always have to be so difficult?

I have had more then my fair share of heartbreak =[

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