Thursday, July 30, 2009

Some Day My Prince Will Come....

We are taught as little girls that love is easy. And perfect.

image courtesy of

In the movies we watched, the sweet, naive, gentle and gorgeous 16-year-old girl lives a quiet, pleasant life full of impromptu song and dance, no matter how unsavory her circumstances. Her flawless skin is ever so carefully painted, with the shadows going only in the flattering places. Her waist is tiny with no exercise, her eyes are clear certainly without enough sleep (given her life of servitude), and her feet are uncalloused, no matter how many hours are spent barefoot in the rocky castle yard or thorny forest.

image courtesy of

The prince rides up, strong, handsome, full of character and goodness. He instantly falls in love with her, and she him. There may be a snag or two (never because of their compatibility, but because of an evil external influence), but in the end all ends with white silk, wedding bells and happiness trailing off into "ever after."

Girls in real life have pimples. We are not always good and kind and sweetly oblivious. And boys are not always full of character and effortless muscle, riding up on a big gorgeous horse and sweeping us away into a sudden life of perfect wedded bliss.
image courtesy of

Unlike the beautifully drawn characters in the movies we often still love, even as women, we evolve. Our lines are not scripted from beginning to end so that we never lose our tempers, or make mistakes, or learn.

Rather than being a flaw, what a gift this is!

There are countless works of literature where it is said that the angels in heaven are jealous of us - of our messy and beautiful and poignant and real lives.

In truth, how can it be a bad thing that hardly any of us fall in love only once, at 16?

If we are not scripted and easily summed up into a half page, how in the world can we expect to just automatically
a) know who is best for us, and
b) find that person on our first try?


We should try love out, test it, glorify it, leave it when it is time to leave.

That is what the pink spoon theory is about.

Our mothers and grandmothers have paved the way for us to have this glorious freedom. In most areas, a woman no longer has to make herself into a man (more or less) to earn respect from men. We are coming at a time where you can be a woman, still feminine, and be just as successful as any man. No longer do we have to toss aside the womanly wiles that give us our unique strength and shoulder the common masculine qualities instead (not to mention the fact that they don't look good on us most of the time anyway).

Of course there are exceptions. Everyone should follow their heart.

But for many of us, this is our time.

We can finally approach dating, love, and life with a carefree nature - still being women, and discovering ourselves, our preferences, and our matches with as much freedom as men have always been able to.

The truth is, there are probably a few Prince Charmings out there.

And there's no reason in the world to settle for less. That's not saying, of course, that dallying for some amount of time with someone who makes you happy for whatever reason, although you know he's not the one you want to go into a 'merger' with, is wrong at all.

image courtesy of
It's just fine!

Pink spoon to your heart's content!

And besides, after the wedding bells' ringing faded into the credits and the credits faded to a blank screen, we don't know what happened, do we?

Maybe things aren't as simple as they seem.

Of course not. They never are.

(cross posted at TPST)


Lush said...

I totally feel this. Great piece.

That's What She Said said...

Good post.

I've deleted my blog and restarted.. Well fixing to!

High-heel gal said...

Great post! Life and Love are definitely anything but fairytales!

Elizabeth Marie said...

Charis...this is amazing!!! Such a perfect post.

Simes. said...

HEY! loved your blog, great pictures btw, check out our blog whenever you want, we invite you to follow it,

kirstyb said...

and what a shock we get when we get are heart broken for the first time! hmmmmmmmm xoxox

Kristin said...

Here's to having fun until Mr. Right comes along and never settling for less than we deserve!

Elaine said...

I thought life would be a breeze after getting married because once you've found the love of your life you're supposed to be happy forever, right?? WRONG. Boy was that a reality check... marriage takes work and sacrifice and selflessness. And the last one is hard for everyone because we are all naturally selfish. Anyway, enough of my rant. Imperfect IS perfect!!!
Thanks for the comment on my blog! :)

themanhattantransfer said...

Great post. My friends and I joke that when we finally meet The One we're going to have to ask where the hell he's been this whole time! All the dating mess surely has a purpose...

Sabrina ♥ said...

i was reading your post seriously cause somehow i think it's really deep.
and yeah i love what you say, girls have PIMPLES !

Loma said...

Hi girls, just stopping by to say i really like your blog and i would love to ad each other as followers. Just let me know or ad me and i will do the same later. Just trying to nework with other creative souls.

a H.I.T. said...

Life and love are hardly ever scripted and they're all the better because of it.

Catanya said...

There is truth truth and more truth in this post. I will come back and re read it from time to time. SS

Kristen said...

yes, truth to the post. we are trained to think we are fairytales world then boom, not so much. you notes encourage me. Thanks!

Beth said...

Haha well said ;)
Totally agree with you!
Beth xx

Anonymous said...

I have a friend who did the exact same blog about this, so true..


Silvie said...

Cinderella is the best!

jessicaleighlalou said...

That was amazing! I feel that way exactly.. :)

Fé... said...

Love, love, love this post...
Too many streaks of truth in it :)

My Favourite Things said...

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prashant said...

Great post! Life and Love are definitely anything but fairytales!

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Haddock said...

I don't completely agree with what Elaine said above.

Marianne said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Marianne said...

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